A Judge And A Shadowy Dismembering

"Your Honor,  my client pleads that though he was present at the scene and scent of the man's dismembering he had nothing to do with it; it was his shadow that tore apart the limbs of . . ."
"Counselor, the report that I have here states that your client has undergone six months of stern testing in our medical facility and found to be sane and extremely intelligent, ready to stand trial; yet you, a licensed,  respected lawyer, having the temerity of a philantropic philanderer, stand in my sanctified court of law and pander this liberal nonsense about his shadow committing this vicious crime?"
"Your Honor, I believe it to be a valid argument, considering the context of time in which I'm presenting it; today, in the 21st century, if a man can be adjudicated to be a woman and a woman to be a  man why can't a man's shadow be adjudged to be an entity total and separate unto itself?  Your Honor, haven't you ever been walking along a sidewalk and for some reason you suddenly looked down and to your left and you see the shadow of a man there and you jump, scared out of your wits, your heart pounding, then you realize, Oh, that's just my shadow .  But, Your Honor, your shadow had taken you over and caused you to react as you did, and, Your Honor, my client swears that his shadow, whom he often disputes with, got into his head and hands and arms and used him to commit that bloody crime . . ."

"I admit, Counselor, that I believe we all at one time or another have been frightened by our shadow, but that doesn't prove that a shadow is --"
"Your Honor, getting back to my first analogy, even though that person who was a he or a she who was changed by being cut and gutted, that 'he' is gonna overshadow that new 'she' of him forever, as any new 'he' is gonna be overshadowed by his old she.  And that former him and her will forever overshadow the new 'she' and 'he' entering all places where a natural he and she have privacy --"
"Enough!  Basta!  Assez!   This shadow-business overshadows not only your client's case but it is so precedential in its nature that not only is our entire legal system threatened by this liberal interpretation of a law that reverberates with nature's reverence but the very foundation of our society will be destroyed by this outrage of liberal muscling, and neither I nor my shadow will be a part of that -- I quit, resign, turn this case over to another court and pray that we will get back to electing a President who will adhere to our Constitution and will name a man or woman who puts 'America First' to that vacant seat on our Supreme Court!"