Incriminating Biscuits?

"Your Honor, my client pleads for leniency due to poor eyesight."
"Do you know this man's record?"
"Well, Your Honor, he lives in a high crime neighborhood."
"I do not believe that poor eyesight influenced him.  And before sentencing I want to impress on you and him the reason for the sentence I have selected.  In his first attempt he claims that that night in the poorly lighted street -- fortunately, we have police strategically placed in such areas -- he noticed this lady some fifteen or twenty feet ahead of him.  She had long, blond hair reaching to her waist and a big black purse hung from her left shoulder.  'Easy pickings,' he thought.  There were people around, but in his neighborhood people boasted of not snitching to police, and he started to run toward her.  When he reached her he snatched the purse with such force that she fell to the sidewalk, injuring her left collarbone.  One of our officers saw the shameless deed, but the woman turned out to be his mother wearing a blond wig and she refused to press charges.

"The second time, some months later, the scene was identical except the person wore those long false plaits hanging to her waist and carried a briefcase.  Again he ran forward, snatched the briefcase and was again apprehended by an alert officer.  But, again, the woman turned out to be his mama who refused to press charges.  The third time, he says that it was a haircut that confused him.  He said it was cut close to the scalp, a cut we associate with men in our society.  He just ran up behind him and put a choke hold on him and flung him -- who turned out to be a she, wearing jeans --  to the sidewalk.  And guess who it was?  That's right.  His mama.  Obviously, young man, in your neck of the woods there's much confusion over what coiffure is more suitable for the skull of your men and women.  An inferiority complex about one's hair must be quite an annoyance.  For at least different periods in your people's history there has been more emphasis on hair-do than language and education and teenage pregnancy.  Which brings me to another point.  I'm not authoritatively dictating what age a teenager or mature woman must be before becoming pregnant.  Now, young man, I'm not sure whether your tendency toward crime is a cultural  defect or lack of culture, but because you seem to have this criminal tendency with only your people -- especially your mama -- I'm sentencing you to move from that neighborhood and never again have anything to do with such people.  And, too, I think you subconsciously hate your mama.  Did she whip you when you were young?" "All the time, Your Honor." "So when she'd leave the house, like walking in your sleep, you'd follow her. Ever walk in your sleep when you were young?" "We used to keep some flour in a 20-gallon can and she used to wake me looking in it." "What were you looking for?"
 "Biscuits."