Instant Islamists

"Do you think that your ancestors were enslaved by Sunnis or Shiites?"
"I never heard them names before.  What they mean?"
"Well, do you think they were enslaved by Arabs or Europeans?"
"How do I know?  Why you asking me this?"
"You say that you're an I.I.  I'd like to know what qualifies you."
"I read.  I know all about Islam."
"Are you an Arab?"
"Do I look like an Arab?"
"No.  You look like somebody trying to look like an Arab.  Do you speak
Arabic or do you attend a Mosque?"
"Of course not."

"Then where did you get your knowledge of Islam?"
"I told you I read.  Islam mean peace."
"That sounds like what some of these politicians keep parroting."
"And I agree with them.  Islam mean peace."
"How would you recognize a peaceful Muslim from a Muslim terrorist."
"He'd tell me."
"You don't think that a Muslim terrorist might lie and tell you that he's peaceful?"
"No.  Islam mean peace.  Nobody in Islam can tell a lie."
"Do you know that many centuries ago Muslims conquered many countries?"
"I read what some politician said about it in a newspaper."
"And you believe that they conquered those people without using weapons, without killing any of them?"

"Sometimes I wonder about that, but I figure some politician will explain it in a speech or interview, then I'll know how to answer that."
"In the meantime, you realize, of course, that people  in the United States and other countries are being murdered in the name of Islam.  One tried to kill another policeman the other day."
"According to some politicians, these Muslims killing people are not true Muslims."
"But they want to conquer, like the Muslims centuries ago.  Are you saying that those Muslims centuries ago weren't true Muslims?"
"Uh . . . well . . . uh, I bet the politicians can answer that.  They know all about Islam.  Islam mean peace."